As I sit by the lake
watching the sun rise and writing this blog several of my close friends are
preparing to leave the Africa Mercy for the final time and return to their
passport countries. My thoughts and prayers drift to them often because I know
a small piece of what lies ahead for them.
It’s been 6 months now
since I returned from my floating home in Africa. In some ways, it seems like
it was just yesterday and in other ways it feels like years. As I was preparing
to return to the US many of my friends who preceded me in the reentry process
encouraged me that I would need to give myself a lot of grace and time to
adjust. I had no idea what lie ahead for me. I knew I was returning to Texas
first to spend time with family and friends and to rest. My first few months
consisted of just that. I was so thankful to be near the people I had been
separated by thousands of miles for 4 years. I had lots of time with my family,
or sitting by the fire reading, or going for walks. It was a time of much
needed rest and recovery.
I was not experiencing the
grief and hardship I had expected to when I arrived back stateside. I was just
really happy to be back. In March I visited my brother and his family in
Knoxville, Tennessee. As soon as I landed here God made it clear this is where
he wanted me for my next season. I returned to Texas, spent a week packing up
and saying goodbye once again and then boarded a plane to begin yet another
transition. It was very difficult to say goodbye to my family and friends once
again, but a little easier knowing I was a short flight away. I was thrilled to
be moving to a place where there are mountains, trees, lakes and lots of
outdoor activities. I was also so thankful that God made it so clear that this
is where he wanted me. I love this place! That being said, the last 2 months
have been extremely difficult. I am having to grow in my faith and trust in the
Lord in whole new ways.
The grief of what I had
left behind on a ship in Africa hit me full force with this second transition.
I feel like I am having to re-learn how to live in my own culture again as the
person I am having lived 4 years abroad. I left a ship family of people I had
been intimately connected with for 4 years. I left close friends who knew me
and that I knew like no other friendship I have ever experienced. We were in
the trenches together for 4 years and now all of a sudden, they are ALL half a
world away. My heart grieves for those friendships while also trying to connect
in a new place. With the pain and grief of all the recent goodbyes it makes it
that much harder for me to conquer fear and be willing to connect on a deep
level here even when I know it is so worth it. I am so thankful that God’s perfect love casts out all fear. I can trust him with my heart
no matter what lies ahead.
He has already been so
gracious to quickly connect me to a local church, small group and I am quickly
connecting with several key people that it’s clear the Lord has divinely
connected me with. This season has not been easy but I am so thankful for the way
it has increased my faith and trust in the Lord.
Thanks to all of you who
have prayed and encouraged me!
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